Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts

Friday, February 21, 2020

There Are No Good Conservative Songwriters

 

Some dolt named Jason Isbell, who is apparently the "King of Americana Music" (I honestly have no idea who the idiot is) recently got into a Twitter tussle with someone who tweeted that they didn't like his progressive politics, and responded, “If it ever gets to be too much for you, there are a lot of great songwriters out there who agree with you politically. Oh wait, no there aren’t.”

I abhor making fun of the mentally challenged, but I will make an exception in this case. Let's begin with the absurd moniker of "King of Americana". Who crowned him? In my limited exposure to whatever the hell Americana is, I would exalt Dwight Yoakam (who is apparently no longer considered "country") to that title. And Dwight's politics are, yes, progressive, but he's no imbecile. There is no chance in hell Dwight would make a statement like that, because he knows better. Dwight knows that political bent has no bearing on songwriting prowess. In fact, political leanings have no bearing on creativity, period. I don't know (and don't care to know) what kind of songs this Isbell guy writes, but if you're in the country milieu, aren't you writing about heartbreak and about life's ups and downs? I didn't know that was solely the purview of liberals. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's not, based on my reading of online political site comments; unless the songs are all about how much I hate Trump and the world is going to hell...because of Trump.

Sigh.

Tedious.

It's sad that some people's existences are so tiny that all they have to latch onto is hate. No, not sad -- pathetic.

I'm not going to enumerate all the superb conservative country songwriters, because Trigger compiled a comprehensive list here. My point in writing this post is that people need to get over themselves. I sometimes lurk on a (fiction) writer's forum and it's just as hateful as Jason Isbell. The prevailing opinion there (among writers who've had just as much success as me; meaning "none") is that conservatives are hayseeds who can barely read, much less write. The place oozes with condescension.

No wonder I pine for the days when music was just "music". Now we are forced to take sides. That's not what music is about. Music should be joyous. Music should be a respite; a little jewel we tuck inside our pockets. I don't want it to be ruined. I knew that Stephen Stills was a Hollywood Hills lefty, but I didn't care because I liked his music. I know what John Lennon was. Lennon is a god to me. 



Let's all calm down and stop hoisting our battle shields. 




 

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Vote for ME for President!

(A blast from the past, but oh so timely today):

Yes, that's right. After careful consideration, I have decided to run.

Oh sure, you've got that one guy who likes to hear himself talk, and then you've got that other guy who says, "my friends" a lot and smiles at inopportune times. And you've got Ron Paul.

But, with the Republican National Convention starting here in my own little neighborhood next week, I'll admit, the patriotic fervor has overwhelmed me.

So, while campaigning will most likely seriously cut into my internet time, and my nap time, I've decided to make the sacrifice. There is a whole sh*t-load of people out there whose concerns aren't being heard. And I'm not talking about healthcare, the environment, blah, blah, blah - that boring stuff.

No, I'm talking about the concerns of regular patriotic Americans. Americans like me, my friends, who just want to go to work (if they have to) and be left alone. Those Americans who don't want to be hit up every other day to contribute to someone's going-away party or to their bridal shower or to some other worthless, meaningless occasion that they invented simply in order to get free gifts.

Americans who want to be free to drink beer and smoke, smoke, smoke their cigarettes, and not have some do-gooder telling them, "You know, you can get cancer from that"; yea, blah blah blah. To those people, I say, "Oh, go inhale your stupid Big Mac and your extra-large order of fries, and have your coronary. In the meantime, I'll just be here puffing away, enjoying life."

These, my friends, are the kinds of people who are unrepresented in this great land of ours.

Here is a news article, announcing my candidacy:

August 29. 6:21 CDT

MICHELLE “SHELLY” ANDERSON THROWS HAT INTO RING

MINNESOTA (AP) – Citing a groundswell of grassroots support, Michelle “Shelly” Anderson today announced her candidacy for President of the United States.

The three-term governess of her own stylish home in the western suburbs of Minnesota, Anderson has long been a leading proponent of four-hour work weeks and free cable TV and free internet for all citizens, except for those who are already making big bucks.

“It’s high time the citizens of this great country of ours have someone who understands them, someone who knows what it’s like to fight the rising costs of Miller Lite 12-packs and cartons of Merit Ultra Light Menthol 100’s,” Anderson pronounced. “Look at me; I used to live in a trailer. Do you think I have money? Think again.”

Anderson said that she has opened her campaign office today in the metro transit station on Cheshire Avenue. “I don’t know if that’s technically legal,” Anderson remarked to a reporter from the Weekly Shopper, “but if it’s not, then it should be. Do I look like I’ve got money to open a campaign headquarters?”

Campaigning under the banner of the Minnesota Loon Party, Anderson has already begun contacting likely voters. “I did a quick canvass of my neighborhood today, after I took my dog, Josie, out to ‘do her business’”, Anderson remarked. “Nobody seemed to be home at any of the houses I visited, but I think I did see some fluttering of drapes. It’s a start.”

Asked about her campaign platform, Anderson readily cited a laundry list of priorities.

“Number one, laundry. I’m sick of doing it. Do you know how boring it is folding pairs of socks into little balls? I think everyone should have free laundry service. Except for those who are already making big bucks. Let their butler do it.

“Next, I would say, free jars of salsa and those Tostito Scoops. It’s a lot easier eating salsa out of the jar when you have those “scoop” things.

Three, I guess I will go with paid holidays three times a month. There’s a lot of famous people who don’t have holidays yet. I think we could come up with a bunch. How about Happy Peter Frampton Day? Celebrate That Guy Who Does The Free Credit Report Dot Com Commercial Day? That’s just to name a few.”

When asked to cite her role models, Anderson listed “that old guy who’s also running for President”, eighties rock group Hall & Oates, “Jim from The Office”, and Abraham Lincoln.

“It wasn’t an easy decision to throw my hat into the ring”, Anderson said. “But if you have beliefs that you feel strongly about, it’s the patriotic thing to do. Plus, I could use the money.”


And here's a little news story about me, to demonstrate the seriousness of my campaign:









So, vote for me. If you're looking for "change" that really makes a difference in your life, look no further.




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Monday, July 2, 2012

A Little Podcast Experiment

I have no idea if this will even work, but I wanted to experiment with doing a podcast, so here we go.

(Click on the title, and it should take you there.)