I don't want to rain on anybody's parade of hopes and dreams, but this week's episode of American Idol didn't leave me very inspired. Really, the only thing it inspired me to do was to quickly get up off the couch and delete the program from my DVR.
I do feel bad for Michael Johns, though. It wasn't his turn to leave. And the fact that Ryan tortured him didn't help. I think what happened to Michael is that he drew the short straw, and had to sing first. (Not that they actually draw straws; the whole setup is a bit more diabolical than that.)
The first slot in the show is a killer, because it's really easy to forget. In fact, about halfway through watching the show (even knowing that Michael would be sent home, since I did see the results episode first), I started to wonder what song he actually sang. Then it hit me - "Dream On".
Now, I'm no Aerosmith aficionado, I'll admit. Therefore, I didn't realize that "Dream On" is an inspirational song. I thought he was saying, "dream on"; like "yea right, dream on". Duh. Well, with all the falsetto stuff going on, I couldn't ever really make out the words.
So, Michael got sent home, cruelly.
But, really, anyone could have, and should have, gone home this week. This was probably the worst performance week ever.
Even my favorite, Cookie, did a really lousy job. I am not familiar with the song, but I thought it sucked. He started off singing really low and sort of non-melodically, and, while the song did improve from there, it didn't improve enough to save it. I thought it was just awful.
I also didn't find anything to get excited about in Little Archie's performance. It was just boring.
And my pick for most desperate contestant this week goes to - ta DA! - Brooke. It's a really tough one to call, since Carly has been consistently desperate. But, to be honest, Brooke is really starting to get on my nerves. She's a good enough singer, albeit not very exciting, but her manner is getting to me.
I used to work with someone like her. Someone who could never STOP TALKING. It's nervous energy or low self-esteem or a combination of both. And they're always bobbing and weaving, unable to stand still. Give them an inch, and they'll talk on and on and on and on, until you just want to swallow some cyanide capsules.
It sort of goes like this:
RYAN: Thank you, Brooke.
BROOKE: You're welcome, Ryan.
RYAN: Nice job.
BROOKE: Do you really think so? Because I really thought I could have done better. I really looked kind of dorky, and I messed up that one line, and if I could just do it over again, I promise I'd do it way better. You know the line in the second verse? Well, I should have said, "the", but I said "a". I'm so embarrassed. What do you think of my dress? I'm not sure if it was the right dress to wear. I had two dresses picked out, but I went with the pink one. Do you think the yellow one would have been better?
RYAN: We need to go to a break now.
BROOKE: Can I just say one more thing? I really want to apologize to everyone in the audience, and in fact, to everyone in the whole world, for messing up that song so badly. If I could just sing it over again.........
RYAN: And we're out of time. Goodnight, everyone!
Our second runner-up, Carly, always looks so INTENSE when she's singing. It's really kinda scary. I think the reason she ended up in the bottom three is because everyone was so worn out from her INTENSITY that they were too tired to dial the phone. And, c'mon, they really want her to go. She's just spooky.
As for the other bottom-three dweller, well, I never saw anything in Syesha from day one. She completely bores me.
The only two that I semi-enjoyed this week were Jason Castro and, surprise! Kristy Lee Cook. I'm kind of starting to feel sorry for Kristy, so it was nice for her that she didn't end up in the bottom three this week.
And one more note about "inspirational week". Yes, I know that this was tied into "Idol Gives Back", but one has to admit, it's all kind of fakey. I don't doubt that Little Archie and Babbling Brooke really felt their songs. They're kind of the soft-hearted type. But the others.....They were just looking for "big" performances. I don't think being "inspirational" was upper-most in their minds. Unless by "inspirational", we mean, "hanging on for at least one more week".
It's virtually impossible for me, in good conscience, to include a video from this week.
Therefore, despite the fact that Michael Johns bugged me with his imitation of "Jim Morrison grasping the mic", I will leave you with Michael's performance from Dolly Parton week. This was the one of his that I enjoyed the most.