Friday, June 15, 2012

When Did E-Mail Become A Second Job?

Sure, it's partly my own fault.  I will admit that.  I don't need to have two email accounts, plus, now that my husband is doing the job-search mambo, a third account for my husband, since he is computer illiterate.

In fairness, one of my email accounts is a business account, which is kind of silly, in hindsight, because there is no business, really.  It was supposed to be for all those music opportunities that would be flooding my in-box, starting in 2006, and well....still waiting.

I don't check my email generally more than once a week, because it's just too daunting.  How many things have you unknowingly signed up for, and these places squeeze the life out of you, with their sometimes daily "updates"?

I've begun to hate certain stores that I used to love, just because they won't leave me the hell alone!

And, you know, Walgreens, for instance.  I have no quarrel with Walgreens.  I sometimes go there just to avoid the parking hassles and long lines at Target.  But I'm not in love with Walgreens.  Nice that Cover Girl cosmetics are now on sale, but I only buy makeup every six months or so, so their badgering seems needlessly excessive.

I love Kohl's, but they need to rein it in a little.  Again, my Kohl's shopping is limited due to finances, so Kohl's Cash would be great, if it was real money.  Hey Kohl's; just send me some real cash and I'll be thrilled to stop by and use it!

Yes, I know; I can unsubscribe at any time.  How often do you take the time to do that?  Isn't it easier to just check the little box and hit "delete"?  I've taken to marking some of these little pesky irritants as "spam", but I kind of feel bad doing it, because spam should really be reserved for the vile people who send offensively-titled missives and those who keep wanting me to meet senior single men.  I have a man already, thank you, and senior?  Seriously?

And, not to be suspicious or anything, but sometimes when I've tried to unsubscribe to a site, it tells me their "website is down".  Well, how convenient.

Do you send emails to yourself?  I do that constantly.  I send myself emails from work.  Sometimes they're just notes about a purchase I made on the way to work, so when I get home, I can deduct it from my spreadsheet (Does anybody use check registers anymore?  What's the point, I say?  I don't use a checkbook anymore.)

Sometimes, I send myself a link to a website I want to check out (we're limited at work, both in internet time and in access).  Sometimes I send myself an idea - used to be song ideas - I don't really do that anymore.  Now it's more like blog ideas.  I sent myself one a couple of days ago, and all it said was, "Outlook Good"  (I knew what that meant).

However, my important emails to myself get buried among all the worthless, needless junk that I have to wade through.  And did I honestly ever subscribe to a site called "Hawaiian Resorts International"?  Why in the world would I have?  I can't even afford to drive to Fargo.

It, too, is nice that my bank emails me to let me know that they paid my bills.  Okay, they didn't pay my bills, although I'd totally be on board with that.  I mean, they let me know that my payments were sent.   But can't I just trust them to do it, without them saying, "Hey, good news!  We did what you told us to do!"?  Talk about needless back-patting.

My friend, whose emails I enjoy, probably wonders why it always takes me a week to respond.  I have to find them first!

And, not to be maudlin, but do you ever get an email from a family member that you rarely hear from, and before you open it, you think, "Who died?"  I have one of those family members.  It's nice that she sends me links to obituaries of second cousins who passed away, but I have absolutely no recollection of these people; God rest their souls.

I do admit that I have a hate-hate relationship with email.  It is like a second job to me.  It would be fun and semi-exciting if I only got emails from people I like.  But it's an insidious, insidious invention.  Much like eating a whole pizza in one day, it just gets totally out of hand.

I was looking for a video to go with this post, and I didn't want to use the obvious song by the Box Tops, but I found a good one.  Jo-El Sonnier and "Tear Stained Letter":

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