American Idol - FINALLY, The Final Three

Is Randy Jackson verbally challenged? Because it seems like the only thing he's capable of saying is, "You could sing the phone book".

I know we all have our little catchphrases, but does he just walk around all day, saying that to random people?

"Hey, copy machine dude, YOU could sing the phone book!"

"Uh, yea. I'm just here to change your toner."

And are the producers slipping Randy a little extra pocket change to shill for David Archuleta? Come ON. He wasn't that good. He was his usual boring self. Maybe his phone book only goes from A through G.

I won't say this is the weakest final three ever, but it's pretty weak. Not only should Syesha NOT be in the final three (how did that happen, anyway??), but I would argue that Little Archie shouldn't be there, either.

If one were to judge artistic potential simply from the songs that the contestants chose for themselves, it is plain that only one of the three has any sort of artistic vision or true understanding of who they are as artists.

Further, if one were to judge artistic potential from the way the contestants handled the songs that were chosen for them, again, only one of the three has any artistic vision and potential for commercial success.

And for Randy to say that "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" was "just aiii-iight" for him is ridiculous. I thought Randy was supposed to be the big musician/producer of the bunch. While David was obviously suffering from vocal fatigue by the end of the show, vocal perfection alone does not move a listener. A singer has to have heart. And David clearly showed heart with this one.

Archuleta was singing by rote.

Syesha was auditioning for an acting gig.

If the voters have any sense (and according to dialidol, they do), David will have garnered the most votes this week.

And regardless how much Randy tries and tries, I'm truly hoping that the viewers next week have the good sense to vote David Cook as the next American Idol.

Although I will feel bad for him to be saddled with the winning song.

American Idol - Neil Diamond Week

First, let me just say that, had the contestants listened to me, the week would have been way better. But, alas, they did not. Shame. I picked out way better songs for them to sing, overall, than they chose for themselves. Oh well. Too late now.

And let me just get a couple of things off my chest, before I move on....

1. By far, the worst performances (yes, two) of the week were from David Archuleta. Horrible. Especially "America". He couldn't even stay on key. And what's the deal with him always changing the melody to songs? Stop it! It's time for him to just go home. Not that he will.

2. Apparently, I am in the minority when it comes to Jason Castro. Because I thought both of his songs were fine, and "September Morn" was very, very good. I enjoyed it. I would watch it again. You know, the one that Paula didn't like before he even performed it.

I haven't actually watched the episodes yet, but I have found that YouTube is an excellent resource. I was able to watch all the performances, without the filler. I was also able to watch the elimination segment.

I even got to watch Paula being utterly confused.

I'm not sure how she or the producers have tried to talk their way out of that, but whatever they said, I don't believe it. Either:

(a) she's nuts; or
(b) she does her "critiques" prior to the performances. Or
(c) I guess ~ she watched the dress rehearsal. However, I don't think they are supposed to judge, based on a rehearsal. If so, geez, better not mess up in rehearsal, guys (and gals)!

So, in retribution, Jason's fans rallied to make sure that he got enough votes to remain in the competition.

But back to the songs.......

I found an interesting article on ew.com, that talks about how the contestants went about choosing their songs for Neil Diamond week.

Apparently, there is a lot of angst and arm-wrestling going on. And in an arm wrestling match between Brooke and Archie, I'm picking Brooke to win.

For Little Archie, "he initially wanted to perform ''I'm a Believer,'' only to see Brooke pull the song title out of the hat..." Of course, I had picked that song for Archie to perform, so it was unfortunate (for both of them) that Brooke "won".

It seems that Syesha agonizes over her song choices. "She's settled on ''Hello Again,'' a slow number for a big voice. (David Cook initially chose it but let it go when he found out Mercado wanted it.) But that second song? The ever-patient Orland (the band leader) asks if she's heard ''Love on the Rocks.'' ''I don't like the chorus,'' Mercado responds. What about ''Thank the Lord for the Night Time''? ''Kind of boring,'' she replies.

Kind of boring, indeed! Exactly what I thought as I was listening to it. Mind you, the song, when done by Neil himself is far from boring, but boy, did Syesha ever make it boring! She should have gone with, "Love On The Rocks", as I (and Orland) recommended.

As for Brooke, "'Here's the problem with Neil Diamond songs,'' Brooke White tells Byrd and associate musical director Matt Rohde Thursday afternoon. ''Every song is about a woman or alcohol. And I can't sing about either.''

"After debating ''Cracklin' Rosie'' and ''Cherry, Cherry,'' she settles on ''I Am...I Said'' and ''I'm a Believer,'' which she won in the hat pick (arm wrestling match)."

Okay, no "woman songs" and "no alcohol". Yet she debated "Cherry Cherry" and "Cracklin' Rosie". What does she think "Cracklin' Rosie" is about? It's about wine, Brooke. And maybe I'm goofy, but I always thought "Cherry Cherry" was about a woman. Maybe she thinks it's about fruit.

As for Cookie and Jason, I thought they had the best song selections of the evening. I knew that David Cook wouldn't take my (or anyone's) advice, but that's what makes him a STAR! And Jason knows what works for him.

Anyway, Brooke went home and it was a blessing, really. She was, it seemed, on the edge of a nervous breakdown, so she needs to have some R&R time. But, to be serious for a moment, how many people would dare to get up on that stage even once, much less week after week? I wouldn't. Neither would you, I bet. It's easy for us to sit home with some hot cocoa (ha!) on our sofa with our jammies on, and critique these guys, but they've got some courage! So, kudos!

Next week is Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame Week. I have no idea what that means. You know, that kind of cuts a wide swath. Why don't they just call it, "Sing Whatever You Want Week"?

I hope the pace is a little bit slower next week, because this week was ridiculous.

And to save us all some time and trouble, let's ask Paula to critique next week's performances now; how about it?

I leave you with Jason's performance of "September Morn", just because I liked it, and because it's going to annoy the holier-than-thou people who apparently want a pack of wolves to rip Jason's dreadlocks to shreds.

Thank you.

What Should The Idols Sing For Neil Diamond Week?

If you've read any of my blog, you know that I'm kind of a Neil Diamond geek. I love Neil Diamond! So, naturally, I'm pretty excited about next week's episode of American Idol, when Neil himself will be a mentor.

Of course, since I'm so psyched about the show, it'll probably be horrible.

Face it, I didn't anticipate Andrew Lloyd Webber (Broadway) week at all, and it was the best episode of the season. So, that's what I get for anticipating (or not anticipating, as the case may be.)

Since I'm pretty (okay, very) familiar with Neil's songs, I thought, for once, I would be ahead of the game, rather than always writing a post mortem.

I thought it would be fun to try to pick songs of Neil's that each contestant could sing. In some cases, this will not be easy.

When appropriate, I'll list an obvious and a not-so-obvious choice.

Let's start with JASON CASTRO.




















I have a few songs in mind that Jason could do well. Here's the first:

KENTUCKY WOMAN



My second choice for Jason:

CRACKLIN' ROSIE



On to BROOKE WHITE....




















Here's (to me) the obvious choice for Brooke:

SONG SUNG BLUE


Now, if Brooke would like to step outside the box, as they say, and maybe break loose from the trembly, anthem-y ballads she's done every week, I think she could succeed with this one, and wow! Wouldn't folks be surprised?

DELIRIOUS LOVE



Oh my, DAVID ARCHULETA.......




















I'm sorry. I did look for a video of Neil from The Jazz Singer, performing this song, but I could find neither that nor a live performance of Neil singing it, but you have to agree, this is exactly the type of sappy ballad that Little Archie will (most likely) perform:

HELLO AGAIN


Here's another thought. David could try to do something completely different......for once.

The only video I could find of Neil singing this song was sort of cheesy, so I'm going with the group that made it famous.

I'M A BELIEVER






SYESHA MERCADO















I think Syesha could do a nice, R&B version of this:

LOVE ON THE ROCKS


I kind of hate to give one of my favorite Neil Diamond songs to one of my least favorite contestants, but granted, she could probably do it well.

HOLLY HOLY


Hmmm.......who does that leave? Who does that leave?

Oh, yes! DAVID COOK!




















The fact that David Cook is constantly surprising everyone makes it difficult for me to pick a song (or two) for him to sing.

Whatever song he chooses, it will be great.

So, I'll just throw a couple out there........

GIRL, YOU'LL BE A WOMAN SOON


SOLITARY MAN




So, there you go. I think I made some pretty good picks, if I do say so myself.

Will the Idol contestants choose as wisely? Hmmm......I guess we will tune in and see.

American Idol - BROADWAY!

I hate to admit it, but I was already getting a little bored with this season's American Idol. Maybe it was getting too predictable. Same comments from the judges, same weird desperate performances from some, same yackety yackety yack from Brooke. (yawn)

Well, I never would have guessed that Broadway week would shake things up! To me, this was one of the best weeks of the season. And I enjoyed seeing Andrew Lloyd Webber. He's kind of funny; not just funny-odd, but funny.

(I'm writing this before the results show, so I really hope I'm not in for an unpleasant surprise).

Before I dig deeper into the performances this week, let me just say this: I'm not jumping on the "Jason was a disaster" bandwagon. I thought (and apparently, I'm in the minority) that his was one of the best performances this week.

If you're going to choose a song like "Memory" to sing in this competition, the last thing you want to do is sing it the way we've heard it one bazillion times. I thought Jason's rendition was sweet and heartfelt.

But don't just take my word for it. A notable writer at Entertainment Weekly, Michael Slezak, wrote this:

"Here's the crazy thing: I've spent four seasons covering American Idol for EW.com, and never before have I been more in agreement with Paula, and less in agreement with Simon, than with regard to their respective opinions of Jason's ''Memory.'' Granted, the guy probably should've Googled his song choice at some point in the last week — thereby robbing us of his ''I didn't know a cat was singing it'' sound bite — but his performance, well, I'm not even gonna try to pretend it didn't touch me in a way that never would've happened if it had been trotted out in the traditional Big Diva Number fashion. Paula's point that there was a Joe Cocker quality to the performance made perfect sense; Simon's ''miserable'' label left me aghast. I mean, there's a purity to the dreadlocked dude's voice, and an emotional connection so deep, it transcends the occasional wobble of pitch."

So, while it may be the popular thing to do to nod in agreement with everyone else, it might be the right thing to do to listen and make up one's own mind.

So, I am hoping that Jason's departure won't be the "unpleasant surprise" I mentioned earlier.

EDIT: Whew!!

By far, the worst performance of the week was Little Archie's. OMG, it was so boring! Why do they (judges, producers) keep propping him up? They told him he did a good job! He didn't! He did a lackluster, Ambien-like performance. Good god, if someone held a gun to my head and demanded that I tell them what song he sang, I would say, "Just shoot me now" (which is sort of what I was thinking as I was watching him sing.)

I understand that, for economic reasons (keeping the tweenies calling and texting, and ensuring future viewers), AI kind of needs him to win, or at least place in the top two, but the judges could show a little integrity. Especially Simon, who is pretty much the only judge with any sense or lucidity.

But enough ranting for now.

Brooke. Well, what can I say? She does something like this every week. Either she's trembling uncontrollably, or she's messing up somehow. And she didn't disappoint this week!

Actually, her singing was fine (once she got going). But the start - stop - start was just too distracting. She owes her fans BIG TIME for allowing her to slip through this week.

Syesha did a really good job, and she's not one of my faves, by any means. Actually, her performance on the results show was even better than on performance night. But I think she figured she was going home, so she just threw caution to the wind. Funny what one can do when the pressure is off.

I'm not one bit surprised that Carly was sent home. And I thought her performance this week was rather good (better than her usual). It's just that Carly never developed a following. And I think that had a lot to do with the fact that she telegraphed her desperation every week. That just makes people uncomfortable.

I figured it would be either she or Syesha who went home, regardless of their performances. That's just the way it is. And yes, popularity does have a lot to do with it. It's only partially a singing competition.

Well, that leaves just one contestant to review.

I happened to catch only two performances live on Tuesday night, and since David Cook was last, I was lucky enough to see him.

I'll admit, I was a bit worried. I didn't know how he would handle a Broadway tune.

Well.

Can I just say he was AMAZING??

You know, he was going along fine. I thought, okay, he can pull this off. No damage done, even though this genre isn't (I thought) his element.

Then he hit that ONE NOTE in the middle of the song.

I raised an eyebrow and said, out loud, "Well!"

Then it just got BETTER.

Call me cuckoo, but I think this may have been my favorite David Cook performance of the season, and that's saying a lot.

I was flabbergasted.

Here it is, for posterity:

DAVID COOK - MUSIC OF THE NIGHT

American Idol - Week Whatever

I didn't think it was possible to make the Beatles songs sound crappy, but apparently, it's do-able.

Admittedly, the contestants only had 28 songs to choose from (for some reason), but it's not so much their choice of songs, but rather their hideous performances (for the most part).

I'm not going to rehash all the diatribes that have been written about Kristy Lee Cook. Suffice it to say, she's never heard Beatles songs before?? Seriously??

And one more thing, Kristy ~ Don't change the melody to a well-known and beloved song of the sixties. You were apparently trying to make it sound country, but all you succeeded in doing was ruining a great song.

But enough about her.

As I was thinking about this week's installment of AI, I started to wonder about something.....Has any contestant made it all the way through by only singing ballads? Because it occurs to me, even this early in the game, that the outcome is sort of a foregone conclusion. Simply because all the "tweens" have obviously made their choice, and they appear to be very single-minded in their adoration.

But what happens if the little guy actually is forced to sing an up-tempo number at some point during the competition? Will it matter? Will it make any difference? Cuz he only has one strong suit, and that's ballads.

Don't get me wrong. I think he's a really good singer. But let me point this out once again......

Isn't it about who is gonna sell records? Who's commercial? Face it, out of six previous seasons, there are only two winners who are actually selling records. And I may be wrong, but I think only those two even have record deals anymore. Oh, excuse me. I guess Jordin still has her deal (duh ~ for now). Oh sure, people were all a-twitter about Mr. Soul Patrol, for example. But did he sell any records? No.

And once the newness wears off, our youngster isn't going to sell records, either.

So, if you're looking at the whole thing objectively, there's one, maybe two, contestants who are, in fact, commercial. I don't know why people keep forgetting that aspect of it. It seems like a no-brainer. I guess everyone just gets caught up in the competition and/or the "cuteness" of the Idol wanna-be's.

And, P.S. to those who are pimping Carly. She had a record deal, and sold 200, count 'em, 200 CD's.

So, to rehash this week's performances, they went something like this:

Blah, blah, blah, YIKES! Blah, blah, blah, ISH. Blah, HEY! Then Blah.

(I might have them somewhat out of order of their actual appearance.)

Once again, let's give it up for David Cook (commercial!)

And no, he actually is as good as he thinks he is, Simon.

But to give the little guy his due, this was, to me, begrudgingly, the best performance of the night:



A couple of postscripts, if I may:

• For those who were so enthralled by Syesha's performance of "Yesterday", she didn't hit the high notes. And frankly, I fast-forwarded through the second half of her song, because, let's face it, everyone, including my cat, has done that song at one time or another. And, trust me, Bob Cat is just morose enough to pull it off.

• We can quibble as to whether Kristy or Amanda should have been kicked off first, but I will say that Amanda did not sing one note on key through the entire song. So, comme ci, comme ça, as my dad would say.