More 1984!

I'm old enough to remember a time when we just listened to music. That method had its downside, though. For several years I thought the best Beatles songs were sung by Paul McCartney, because he was the cute Beatle. I was woefully wrong.

Thus, when MTV came along in the eighties, it was manna from heaven. Who needed a radio? And we actually knew what the guys and girls singing the songs looked like! This was a concept, like personal computers, that we didn't even know we needed -- until we discovered we did. Maybe I like eighties music so much because of MTV or maybe the music was just that good. I'm going with "that good".

There are one-hit wonders whose song we like; there are fads that now seem cheesy and what-the-hell-was-I-thinking; and then there is Hall and Oates:

 
Before the nineteen eighties, Tina Turner, to me, was Ike and Tina Turner -- you know, "rollin', rollin', rollin' on the river" and a gaggle of gals in sequined, tasseled dresses doing the frug...or some other sixties dance.

Surprisingly, Tina popped up again just when MTV came along. "What's Love Got To Do With It" put Tina back in the spotlight. Luckily. Because I heard her follow-up single on the radio a few days ago, and damn! It's bad! Here's how it goes (in its entirety):

I'm your private dancer, a dancer for money
I'll do what you want me to do
I'm your private dancer, a dancer for money
And any old music will do

And that's it! As a songwriter, I think that's cheating. You can't just repeat the same four lines over and over!  Yet it worked for Tina, so there's that.


That doesn't take away from her seminal hit. Let's listen (and watch):

I like this one better. I think it must be from a movie, and I'm going to Google that and find out right now. In the meantime, watch John Waite:

Well, according to my research, the song was featured in the movie "Selena" and also in Miami Vice, which I never watched, so I guess I only imagined that it was included in a John Hughes flick. I'm going to go out on a limb and say it should have been.

Whatever happened to Deniece Williams? She had a hit single from one of those movies I never actually saw, Footloose. Which doesn't explain why I know the song so well, except for endless plays on MTV. I saw the non-existent fore-mentioned John Hughes movie featuring John Waite's song more times than I saw Footloose. That doesn't take away from the giddy poppishness that was "Let's Hear It For The Boy":

You know you remember this next track. You probably didn't get it -- it is in German (?) after all -- but that didn't stop you and everyone else from turning it into a hit. Number twenty-eight of the year is the incomprehensible hit by Nena -- I don't know whether that's the girl's name of the name of the band, but what does it matter, really?

Apparently in the eighties there was this band called "Journey" (which is a really cheesy name, when you think about it).  I'm guessing they hit it big right before MTV came into existence, because I had absolutely no knowledge of them. Of course I know about Journey now. But I'm not (too) ashamed to admit that I had no clue who they were in 1984. All I knew was there was this great track by a guy named Steve Perry. I figured he was just a single act; a one-hit wonder. Hell of a singer, though. If someone handed me a list of pop songs and said, pick the best ones, I would pick this. I love this song:

Contrary to what Jack Black's character utters in High Fidelity, this is not the worst song ever recorded. Let's cut Stevie some slack, okay? I like it. I'll admit, though, that line in the movie made me feel supremely uncool. However, I'm okay with uncool. Uncool is the new cool. Number twenty-five!

Remember that list of pop songs someone gave me? Well, here's another one I'd pluck from it. My oldies station cued up this song as I was pulling into the Target parking lot, and I refused to kill the motor until I sat and listened to it all the way through. Elton John is a treasure and this song proves why:

Okay, I know I never saw the movie, Streets of Fire. I had to Google it to even know what it was. Nope, never ever saw it. Rick Moranis? Seriously? He was great on SCTV, and I loved him in Parenthood, but...nah....no clue. Nevertheless, I know this song, which again proves the power of music videos. This is Dan Hartman...who resides somewhere near Deniece Williams, I'm guessing; and they're both living off the royalties of their singular hit songs. I still like this one, though:

Confession:  For years I hated, detested! Billy Joel. I think it was subliminal. I remember as a pre-teen listening to a radio show on KFYR on Sunday nights called Padre's Platters. It was hosted by a real-life priest. Seriously. Well, Padre (I don't remember his actual name) went on a tear one night about how sacrilegious Billy Joel's song, Only The Good Die Young, was. I guess because it blasphemed Catholic girls.  Good Catholic girl that I was, in my subconscious I determined that listening to Billy Joel was akin to committing a mortal sin. That, plus I never liked how he yelled so much in his songs. I've come around a bit since then. I actually like some of Billy's tracks now and I'm ready to confess that I do. This one I really liked, mostly because I really liked the Four Seasons and this is a tribute to them:

Purists will say that Chicago ceased being Chicago when Peter Cetera joined the group. Poppists will say, there was a Chicago before Peter Cetera joined the group? Sorry, but hop off that high horse, guys. There wouldn't even be a nineteen eighties movie industry if it wasn't for Peter Cetera. Peter Cetera will easily duel with Kenny Loggins for the most tracks featured in hit eighties movies. Maybe he's an acquired taste -- I never had that problem. I always liked Peter's voice. Trust me, if it was just Saturday In The Park, I never would have purchased the "Best of Chicago". What screams the eighties more than Peter Cetera and Chicago? I bet the other Chicago guys, much as they disdain Peter, are living pretty high off their royalties.

This might be a good spot to bid adieu to 1984.

All in all, it was an excellent year for music.

I truly miss good years in music.

Worst Song of All Time? ~ Part 4

(Sorry, but that's one scary picture!)

Okay, my turn.

I'm not saying this is the absolute worst song of all time, but it embodies everything that I hate about music that punches you in the stomach, and just keeps punching.

I feel no need for singers to shout at me.  That just makes me crabby.  If you've got something to say, just say it....rationally.  I will get it.  Really.  Yelling at me is just going to make me hate you.

It's not that I hate Billy Joel.  I like "Uptown Girl", in which he sings.  I understand that Billy is in love with his lyrics, and there's really nothing wrong with that, but, Billy, just give your listeners a break.  Stop beating us upside the head.  There's a little thing called "nuance".  Try it.

I've been told, in no uncertainty, that certain people like this song.  I have no inkling why.  I've been scolded for choosing it as the worst song of all time, but you be the judge.

And excuse me while I reach for my bottle of Advil.



And the harmonica is annoying, too.  I'd rather be besieged by Bob Dylan blowing on his harp.

My "Career" ~ Part 8 ~ "Everything's Great"

Rumors started buzzing around, and none of us knew for sure, because nobody who was in a position to know would tell us, nor could they tell us, I guess.

I finally, one night, turned my TV to CNBC; the one and only time I ever watched that channel.  A couple of financial guys were speculating about the buyout of our company, but nothing was final yet.

The next morning, as I was getting ready for work, I again flipped on the TV, and there it was.  We were being bought out.  Bought by one of the big boys.

Everybody got a printed memo that day, announcing the merger, and promising that they were going to play by our rules.  That didn't make sense to me, since we were the buy-EES, and they were the buy-ERS.  But I chose to believe that they saw in our company a better way of doing business, and thus, they had seen the light, so to speak.

The first inkling that this was not the case was when our employee insurance coverage changed.  As employees of Acme Insurance Company, we'd had the best coverage ever.  A miniscule copay for any type of service; no deductible.  We could visit our doctor every day, if we'd wanted to, and it was all covered.  The premium was picked up by the company.

No more.  We had to start chipping in for our coverage, and the benefits were much worse.

Not only that, but our stock options were discontinued.  I was so enamored of my company that I'd invested a ton of my 401K dollars into company stock.  (DON'T EVER DO THAT!)

But, other than the insurance coverage, and the dissipation of stock options, our everyday business model didn't change.

Peter was still my boss, and he still was very supportive.  He apologized over and over again for not being able to promote me to manager, even though I was doing a manager's job, and even though I was overseeing five supervisors and more than 150 hourly staff.  And still supervising my own unit; albeit a "cream of the crop" unit; the best of the best.

Even though I was having daily telephone conversations with the gal at Kelly Temp Services; telling her what I needed.  Even though I was scheduling and conducting job interviews twice a week.  Even though I was tutoring my supervisors in the fine art of writing performance reviews.

Even though I was juggling my salary spreadsheet, and ranking employees on a one to five basis, in order to manage salary increases to the unworkable parameters that Peter had set.

Even though Peter damn well knew that I was able to retain staff with negligible turnover because my people liked and respected me, and they knew that I liked and respected them.

Even though I kept having the same conversation over and over with Pat in Allentown, trying to keep my impatience from bubbling over.  Telling myself that eventually she'll "get it".  If I just remain calm and repeat myself a lot, she'll catch on.  She has to.  Doesn't she?

And why in the world did Peter ever choose her in the first place?

Billy Joel kept running through my mind.  I started daydreaming that all the factories in Allentown were being shut down because Pat was running them.  And Pat was an imbecile.



And, despite all the dire news on the corporate front, I believed that everything was still okay.

Things were okay with IKFI.  We were humming and strumming along.  Our numbers, and our outlook, were great.

What could possibly go wrong?

Ominously, unforeseen, a  cold wind was about to blow in.


To be continued...........

My "Career" ~ Part 9 ~ A Cold Wind

My "Career" ~ Part 10 ~  Thank You ~ Goodbye

My "Career" ~ Part 11 ~ Breaking the News

My "Career" ~ Part 12 ~ Loose Ends 

My "Career" ~ Epilogue


Previous Chapters:

My "Career" ~ Part 7 ~ Another New Boss?

My "Career" ~ Part 6 ~ "Who Do You Think You Are?"

My "Career" ~ Part 5 ~ Welcome to the I-Land

My "Career" ~ Part 4 ~ Phil

My "Career" ~ Part 3 ~ Karma

My "Career" ~ Part 2 ~ Evil Bosses

My "Career" ~ Chapter One














 

Rock & Roll - The Eighties - Part 1

As we've learned from previous posts, the '70's weren't a great decade for music. Oh sure, there were some good songs here and there (as I noted), but overall, the '70's kind of sucked, music-wise.

Plus, I'll admit, in the '80's, MTV was actually showing music videos (a weird concept, I admit). And music videos were new then. So, there was some creativity going on. Believe it or not. I enjoyed MTV back then. But, it all came down to the music. And I liked a lot of the music of the '80's. We can quibble, if you like. But you won't change my mind.

Music does go through cycles. The '60's were inventive; the '80's were re-inventive. The '70's were kind of sluggish. I don't know why. Maybe it was because of Jimmy Carter (ha!) I think maybe the artists of the '70's were like, "Damn! I missed out on all the good years of music! I can't top that! So, maybe I'll just tie a yellow ribbon 'round that old oak tree. Everybody's so sick and tired of Jimmy Carter, they'll buy anything that makes them feel good." Just a theory.

So, herewith, some songs from the '80's:

ROBERT PALMER - ADDICTED TO LOVE

Here's the CEO of Acme Products, Incorporated, conducting his semi-annual all-staff meeting. All decked out in his dress shirt and tie. "Well, we had a pretty good quarter, sales are up. I know these meetings can get a little dull, and if we didn't give you free donuts, most of you probably wouldn't even be here. Right, Big Larry? But, today, in lieu of the handouts I've prepared, I thought I'd sing you the third-quarter financial report. So, if the HR staff would join me up here. HIT IT, GIRLS!"



BILLY JOEL - UPTOWN GIRL

Anyone who knows me, knows that Billy Joel is not one of my favorite artists. However, this is one of the few Billy Joel songs that I actually like.

That said, remind me to never go to this garage to get my car serviced! While they're busy wiping down the headlights and acting like they're in the touring company of "Grease", my lug nuts are falling off, and I'm driving off on bare rims. Oh, and that'll be $199.95. Gee, thanks for the headlight cleaning, guys.


PRINCE - LET'S GO CRAZY

By means of clarification, "Purple Rain" and "When Doves Cry" are unavailable on YouTube. I think Prince had them removed. Cuz they were there before. That's okay, though. He's kind of protective of his privacy and what-not. This video will probably be gone before long, too, so I'll just be blogging about a video that's not even there. Thanks for making me look like a fool, Prince.

Anyway, Prince is from Minneapolis. He's the second most famous artist to hail from Minnesota. And deservedly so. I am a big fan of Prince and I'm glad that I could at least post one video from him (at least for the time being). If one looks back on the '80's (fondly, of course), and they try to decide who was the most influential artist of that decade, in hindsight, it wasn't Michael Jackson. Sorry. It was Prince.

This video was shot in Minneapolis. Yes, just another typical day in the neighborhood.


WHAM! - WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO GO

Isn't this just the cheesiest video ever? The first time I saw this video, I wondered if it was some kind of youth worship group....you know, with the "Choose Life" tee shirts and all.

And it seems like kind of a lopsided partnership. Andrew: "Hey! You get all the screen time!" George (hip-thrusting Andrew off the stage): "That's because I have the BLINDINGLY white teeth and the impossibly short shorts!"

And weird that both George Michael and the back-up girls had the exact same hair style. Easy day for the hairdresser, I guess.


STEVE WINWOOD - ROLL WITH IT



Filmed in the 1930's, one doesn't realize that Steve Winwood is actually over 100 years old! Here he was, in his prime, and he even goes back further, back to the 1890's, when he was with the Spencer Davis Group! He's held up well!

This is one of my favorite songs from the era (you know, from the dust bowl days). Nevertheless, in all seriousness, it is one of my favorite songs. I 'm a big Steve Winwood fan.


Let's talk now about two of the most enduring acts from the '80's.

The first:

HUEY LEWIS & THE NEWS - HEART AND SOUL

Here's our San Francisco stockbroker, taking a rare break from his stockbroking duties to visit a nightclub (for the first time).

What's this he sees up on the stage? His alter ego, in a sleeveless white tee shirt, acting all cool and carrying around that microphone. So emboldened, our shy stockbroker decides to choose the frizzy-haired blonde girl in the frilly plus-size tunic to be his dance partner. As he tries to leave the nightclub with his new "girlfriend", he finds that behind every door he opens is a member of the "News" (and behind one door, a steam locomotive!) Eeek! Finally! They find a door that leads to the alley! Whew! That was very spine-tingling! And so he takes Frizzy back to his office to show her his "ticker-tapes". The end.


HALL & OATES - PRIVATE EYES

The Moonlighting Mafioso Band appears here, led by Daryl Hall, wearing his green huge shoulder-padded sports coat. And who knew that the mafia had such rhythm? Those hand-claps seem just like gunshots! So, in essence, rock band/mafia family ~ apparently pretty much the same, in Daryl Hall's world.


BON JOVI - LIVIN' ON A PRAYER


The first thing that strikes me about this video is - hey! Look at that hair! I guess that's where Pantene made its fortune. All that conditioner that the boys in the Jovi band were buying. Cuz believe me, when you get those curly perms, you need a LOT of conditioner. I remember that from the eighties.

This video is from back before Jon Bon Jovi decided he was a country artist - ha!

I always liked this one, with Jon attached to the harness, so he could fly out above the audience. They did things BIG in the eighties.


PETER GABRIEL - SLEDGEHAMMER


This is no doubt the most inventive video of the eighties. Seeing this kind of makes me wonder if Peter was living in "crazy world" when he filmed this. Cuz, man! This is disorienting! Still good, though!


WE INTERRUPT THIS EIGHTIES FLASHBACK TO BRING YOU THIS IMPORTANT VIDEO:



Maybe it's just me, but I think these guys are hilarious. They were so stupid, and yet, so smart-alecky. What more could you ask for? That's me in a nutshell.....stupid, yet smart-alecky. I guess that's why Beavis is my hero.


THE POLICE - EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE


This is the video that sealed The Police's fame. Black and white. Sting and his upright bass. Sting the Stalker. I mean, really, if you think about this song, it's really creepy. I need to go peer out my window, to make sure no one is out there on the street.......with an upright bass.


MICHAEL JACKSON - BILLIE JEAN


One should never forget how HUGE Michael Jackson was in the eighties. This is from Motown's 30th Anniversary Special. You know, the moonwalk, the single white glove, all that stuff. If only Michael could have maintained that semblance of normalcy. But it was not to be. And now we look at Michael as basically a pervert. And a weirdo. And insane.

But back in the eighties, the only thing we wondered about Michael was why he kept insisting that the CHAIR was not his son.


BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN - DANCING IN THE DARK


Here is a young Bruce Springsteen, wearing his bowling shirt. Dancing awkwardly. Basically doing the one-armed dance. Alas, Bruce can no longer do the "one-armed dance", because Bruce is old now.

But this video features the E Street Band, including a weirdly androgynous Clarence Clemens and also that guy from Late Night With Conan O'Brien. I would know his name, except I am unable to stay up that late.

This video is notable for the appearance of Courtney Cox, who later, of course, went on to star in "Friends", and is now WAY richer than Bruce himself. Funny how things work out.

Naive as I was, I actually thought, at the time, that this was a real audience member, plucked out of the crowd to dance (awkwardly) with Bruce. Ah, the media. It manipulates people. I'm WAY smarter than that now. In hindsight.


USA FOR AFRICA - WE ARE THE WORLD


I just realized that I could have skipped all the other videos and just included this one, since what better representation of the eighties could there be? Look at these guys! Stevie Wonder, Huey Lewis, Cindi Lauper, Springsteen, Bob Dylan (and it was sort of lame that Quincy Jones told him to sing it in more of a "Dylan" style), Joe Perry, Kenny Loggins, Tina Turner, Lionel Ritchie. Michael, off by himself, singing, so no one could touch him. Odd that they included Willie, since I don't know exactly where he fit in the pantheon of eighties rock. Ray Charles - yay! I'm not exactly sure why Dan Ackroyd was there, but, okay! A bunch of Jacksons. Diana Ross. Well, I can't remember them all. But suffice it to say, this is the eighties in a nutshell.


Part two will be forthcoming. As I thought about this topic, I realized that I have only scratched the surface of music videos from the eighties. And watching VH1's program, "Top Videos Of The Eighties" today only made me feel more insecure in my choices.

So, if the seventies rate a two-parter, surely the eighties demand the same courtesy.

But this is a good primer, don't you think?

Radio In The Car

(originally posted 03-18-07)

Truly, the only time I ever listen to the radio is when I’m driving somewhere, and it’s usually a short errand, so I only get to hear about three songs total. Don’t you wonder when the stations actually play the good songs? Because I never seem to catch them. I bet it happens between 2:05 and 2:15 a.m.

One guy I just never really cared for is Billy Joel. I think because he has no subtlety. He SHOUTS EVERYTHING! The man must be a joy to live with……”WHAT’S FOR SUPPER!!!” “I LIKE PORK CHOPS!!!” “PASS THE PEAS!!!”

It’s okay, Billy, use your “inside voice”. Oh that IS your inside voice?

Billy, it’s time to put little Alexa to bed. “OKAY!! TIME FOR A LULLABY!! LULLABY!! AND GOOD NIGHT!! “PLAY ME A SONG!!! YOU’RE THE PIANO MAN!!!”

Unfortunately, Christie had to divorce him, because she developed migraines.

Who do you not like that everyone else seems to like? And is there something wrong with us for not liking them?

Billy Joel shouting